The Hat – Someone Really Should Tell Him

He bought a hat – a hat he bought
It gave him just the look he sought

Out he came from haberdashing
Thinking that he looked so smashing

Down the street he walked on air
Filled he was with savoir faire

Then on home to his sweet wife
She saw his pride and full of life

Oh lord my God she almost blurted
Quick she turned with face averted

Now what to do and how to handle
The man she loved not to put out his candle

He prized her honesty so she gave him no lies
But if she told him the truth she’d see puppy dog eyes

The choice so tough it was Hobson worthy
What should she do about this awful derby

To wait a day was the easy decision
He’d be off to work and there’d meet derision

The chapeau’d be gone and off his head
And she’d not be blamed for a word she said

The morning next dawned after the night
Off to work he went and he looked so bright

In he strutted a gentleman through and through
And the topper he wore was snappy and new

No surprise at his office mates’ conclusion
There’d be no upside speaking ill of his head’s protrusion

No doubt he’d get an earful from his missus
She’d set him straight or he’d get no kisses

No need at work their colleague to ruffle
For plain speaking could cause a kerfuffle

Now imbued with pride through tacit endorsement
His headpiece had received only positive reinforcement

This confirmed his view that the hat was a winner
He’d take it out tonight for a formal dinner

His wife said with only slight hint of persuasion
Maybe a Fedora was more appropriate for the occasion

In response he beamed he couldn’t wait to doff
His new wardrobe addition; another chance to show it off

So out they went a well-dressed pair
Except for the piece that covered his hair

Twas no surprise their closest friends that night
Said not a single word about the sight

Whether sombrero, Stetson, stove pipe, ten gallon or lid
It wasn’t their place to remark, to make fun or to kid

And when all his friends, relatives and colleagues were done
No one said a bad word; no one wanted to spoil his fun

As time passed by it was more of a waste
To imply his hat choice wasn’t fine of taste

And so it went on over many long years
He wore it with pride and without the slightest of fears

Finally one and all accepted that
The hat was him and he was the hat

After all maybe it didn’t look that bad
And it made the man they all loved so happy and glad